My boyfriend and I are planning to get married in time and have decided to move in together, so begins yet another adventure in our journey. The past month has been tough on us both, and due to external forces I was moody, weird, and cried a lot for what seemed to me absolutely no reason. It pained me that my love had to witness and endure this time in my life as he inevitably thought that my tear-fests and abrupt mood changes were because of him. This could not be further from the truth though, as he was the only thing keeping me sane during this time.
Excited as I am to begin to feel like myself again and to be taking this step together, I do trust that we are making the right decision here. It is still strange and new to have another person around all the time, but I think in this case I will learn to love it. We are both so similar in our lifestyles and even in our stubbornness that I understand we will, no doubt, butt heads from time to time. That’s life though, even two people as similar as we can be will eventually find something they don’t agree upon or understand in the other.
It seems that when this happens in this day and age, a lot of times people will claim it’s just not working, move on, and do the same thing again with the next person they choose to be with in life. This is not my way, however, nor his. We both have an intensity about us in our commitment to this friendship, relationship, and our future together. There is just something about him that’s not like the rest and I refuse to let him go, so long as he continues to love and wish to be with me, and I believe he feels the same way.
There is absolutely no such thing as perfect, so I don’t endeavor to make myself or anyone else believe that he is; there is, however, perfect for me, and that he most certainly is. I find it hard to believe that we haven’t known each other all these years as I simultaneously feel like we have grown up together and been friends for much longer than we have. It’s very nice to come home to a good friend and ally every night.
My boyfriend and I are planning our trip to Peru together, and he and I are so similar in the way that we plan and prep for trips that we keep misunderstanding each other. Assuming, based on previous experiences, that the other couldn’t possibly do it this way or that way. Last night, in a moment of frustrated confusion we realized that we each travel separately in a very similar manner. This will be our first big trip together, so I suppose it is a test of sorts on our relationship.
Either we’ll come away from this stronger as a couple or completely tired of each other, right? Personally, I’m hoping for the former, and I believe in us. The beautiful and unique part of this relationship is that we became best friends prior to the romantic bit. Which in a way is the most incredible experience in the world, in other ways though it is petrifying. It makes this relationship that much more important to me, and due to our many discussions on the subject I know he feels the same way.
Neither one of us had parents with successful relationships, which of course is more commonplace than the alternative these days. However, both of our parents were also away at work constantly to provide as single parents and we each had grandparents who swept in to fill that role in their absence. This I am unbelievably grateful for, because in a culture of divorce, the two of us (miles apart) had a successful and loving marriage close at hand to observe and learn from.
One day on this blog I will share, in as much detail as I can gain from the living grandmothers, the unbelievable and true stories of how they each met the love of their lives and made the marriage deal work in spite of being human beings who changed over time.
Starting life with my best friend.
This is the first blog post I have written straight into the site, without working it out in Google Docs or Word/Pages first. My main objective in this post is to get some goals out there, into the void, to begin percolating. Here goes something quite real…
My best friend and I have been daydreaming of late, and last week I scribbled out a precise budget to get us to each of these goals in the next year or so. The first goal is to visit Machu Picchu in Peru, the second to become TEFL certified in Costa Rica (or another spot if it works out better), and the third/long goal is to move to Spain together.
There has been quite a lot of encouragement from various people in our lives, including my aunt and uncle, his father, and all of our bosses (we both work two jobs and at least 60 hours a week). The goal is language immersion and visiting bucket list sites, as well as not living and dying where we grew up.
One person in our lives has been quite a struggle to convince, but we believe that in time she will see that we are not just crazy dreamers here. The naysayer is my own mother, who we have deduced is simply terrified of losing her best friend (me) to the world. However, we have goals and plans and are going to reach out into the universe to make them happen.
Hopefully, in seeing us do all these things and make our own dreams come true, she will decide to do the same for herself. Now her goals are going to look a little different from ours, but they will be just as legitimate and important and we will encourage her once her own journey begins.
Her dreams took a hard detour when she became pregnant, then continued having children until I came around. I have always been the one to stick around so my moving around the world will be the most difficult change she will have to endure, but I believe that it is time for her to start her life and for her to let me start mine.
More to come.